Recently I’ve been having a hard time making decisions like should I just return the spare phone? Should I go on another vacation after the three-day cruise? like finally go to an ultimate outside the country trip by myself? >_< aaaahhhhh! it's giving me a headache. Like when there are moments that I really feel bored and I feel like playing one of the games I bought but haven't played yet..but still ends up not playing because I'm already dreading the thought of how time-consuming it's gonna be that I just end up not doing anything or having fun at all.
I’ve been thinking of different scenarios in my head…
what would I be feeling if I see you once again.
Before I met you, I didn’t know if I was capable to love someone.
You proved me wrong.
You woke up every emotion in my body.
You made my heart beat,
you made my mind sway.
Things I told myself I will not do, I did.
You made me feel emotions I never felt before in my life
and gave me hope
that made me believe
I can move mountains.
I entrusted my heart to you and no one else.
I was glad you were always right there beside me…
up to the very last moment.
I’m sorry I was too immature not to show and express to you completely
how much I loved you.
I’m sorry if I hesitated to show you what was bothering me
the last few months, weeks, and days we were together…
If there’s anything I would love to see
before I leave this earth
— that would be you.
If there’s any continent or city
I wanna travel to right now…
that would be to where you are.
And I can!
I can buy a ticket to you right now…
The only thing holding me back…
are the people we will end up hurting.
When I loved you,
I loved you with all my heart.
I was too confident that nothing would ever hurt us or break us apart.
I was really sure that we would be in each other’s future someday.
But knowing what I know now,
I really wish I did more for you.
To keep you in my life…
I should have fought for you more.
I shouldn’t have given up too soon.
Was it because I wasn’t strong enough to fight for you?
life doesn’t work out the way we plan to be.
We cannot stop the time
just so we can live out
our one single greatest moment.
Of course, you can try to ‘stop living in the here and now.’
Believe me, I tried.
But that doesn’t change major things in the present
and it doesn’t stop the other good things from happening in your life.
Maybe it’s not the good that we want to see…
But everything changes.
Everything around you changes.
The emotions stay,
but everything else goes…unfortunately.
And that is how we wind up to who we come to be…
I was sixteen back then…thirteen when I met you.
Now I’m twenty-five.
You were fifteen when I met you…
Eighteen when l left you…
A lot of things has changed,
A lot of days have passed.
I still remember you
–vague memories of you…
the details of your face,
the feeling I get when I know you’re coming,
the worry I feel when you leave for the night,
the relief I feel when you let me know you got home safely.
The good thing is…
Some things never change.
I was and will always be this way with you.
I can’t change it.
Maybe my time with you has already passed
and there is no way going back.
Maybe the last time we said goodbye…
was the last time I will ever see you in this lifetime.
Maybe the next chapters of my life…
I’ll have to live without you.
But there will always be a space
in my heart,
in my life,
saved up for you.
In case you decide to come back…
For now, I really wish you the best…
Although I want to be the best thing that happened to you.
Did you know I really wanted
to travel the world with you?
I said I wanted to go to Vienna or Paris…
I wanted to go share those special moments with you.
I won’t ever get tired of these songs…for me, you sang them. I will always here your voice when i hear them…and I will always hear your serenade. You still keep my heart sing. And I keep feeling alive all over and over again just to let you know.